Day 9: "In The Bedroom"

Matt: Look, I know that sometimes I let him get away with...
[Ruth interrupts him, smashing a plate on the floor]
Ruth: EVERYTHING!



"In The Bedroom", released in 2001, is easily one of the most underrated films in decades. Some of the blame for it's lack of recognition among audiences has to lie with its title. "In the Bedroom", when I first glanced upon its DVD cover in a BlockBuster(remember those?) 5 years ago, seemed to be just another Oscar bait drama about middle aged relationships. I have never been happier to be more incorrect. What I found instead was one of the most violent films I've ever seen. It is destruction in all its forms. There are multiple murders in the film, and we are treated to perhaps the greatest portrayal of vigilantism/subsequent grief in recent memory. The kind of rage that drew me in, however, was less up front. Ever hear about someone speak about anothers "silence being loud"? The strength of this film, for me, was its juggling of the sins of commission AND omission. In grief, sometimes we are loudest when we say nothing. Or, it comes in waves of extreme anger, and we eventually shrink back into ourselves. The film offers no bias towards which actions are correct. Instead, it addresses the alienation from self that often occurs in such tragic situations,the all to easy temptation to blame someone else, and the introspection that follows. One runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.

The title "In the Bedroom" actually refers to the rear compartment of a lobster trap, known as the "bedroom" and the fact that it can only hold up to two lobsters before they begin to turn on each other. Frank Fowler(Nick Stahl) is a young man home from college, and is working in the fishing industry to be near his new girlfriend, a divorced single mom named Natalie(Marisa Tomei). Frank's parents, Matt(Tom Wilkinson) and Ruth(Sissy Spacek) Fowler take careful notice of Franks new romance. Ruth feels Nick should be concentrating on preparing for his upcoming Fall semester, while Matt contends that Frank should have his fun. Further complicating things is Natalies enraged/jealous ex husband Robert(played by William Mapother/Ethan from LOST)frequently trying to win her back.

If all this sounds like a recipe for disaster, it is. It is not so much the plot that I found to be alluring, so much as director Todd Fields handling of it. The plot is pretty conventional, but what is interesting is that the murder of Frank occurs 30 minutes into the movie. It is shown off screen, and the grief that follows, from all sides, is where the movie truly begins to take off.

The remainder of the film is often shot in vignettes, depicting Ruth and Matt going about their everyday business. They mow the lawn, go to the convenience store, go fishing, etc etc. But each action seems like the weight of the world,and is tinged with a bitterness and regret. Spacek and Wilkinson give easily the greatest portrayal of griefs influence on marital strife that I have ever seen. Their marriage suppurates under guilt and resentment, and Field doesn't sully the atmosphere with actual words, but lets the emotions play in an understatement that rivals the best of Ingmar Bergman. Ruth wants to express her hurt, but finds no one receptive to her feelings. Matt can't come to terms with what happened; instead preferring a quiet resignation,and acknowledging the futility of words.

Their blow up has to come of course, and it does not disappoint. The climactic argument, full of screaming and hissing, it is one of those you can only have with someone you have known for decades. It is one of the most well acted scenes in American film history,and it's all too real. For all of my amazement act the technical skill in the scene, a part of me wishes to never see it again. It is all too honest.

The lenient treatment given by the justice system towards Richard puts a fight or flight ultimatum on Ruth & Matt's marriage, and we must march towards the inevitable conclusion. I've heard many people cheer at Matts final action, but I can't be sure. The cold ambivalence of the film's final frame is unsettling,and it has stayed in my mind for years. I think it is interesting to note the release date of the film, a short time after 9/11, when even the calmest of us called for revenge upon the terrorists responsible. "In The Bedroom" was,and still is, a powerfully affecting study on vigilantism in all it's horror and grace. When it comes to the loss of anyone important to us, especially at the hands of another, it is difficult to say what one would do. It is awfully tempting to say no way in Hell would the person who killed my loved one live another day. However, the notion of "uncreating" something, through destruction of it, is an uncomfortable one for me. Somehow, it seems to suggest a desire to efface all memory, only to replace it with another, less personal one. Returning back to my original thought upon seeing the DVD cover, I believed the notion of fidelity in relationships would be addressed. My assumptions about the plot were obviously wrong, thankfully, but I couldn't help but return to the thought of fidelity by the end of the film. Still somewhat despondent from the loss of a loved one a couple months before viewing the film, I found myself finally able to begin letting go of my anger, albeit in a weird way. Any anger I had was really an attempt to forget about my loss. What I ultimately decided was that fidelity exists once someone is gone as well, and perhaps, for me, externalizing my anger would be, in a way, unfaithful to the image I carry of them. Relationships change, and no one can promise fidelity forever(psychically, emotionally,etc etc), but maybe if one stays faithful to the memory, in all it's rawness, it can be preserved. Vigilantism would seem to dilute that, in my opinion.

I would be interested in others opinion on this, if it makes any sense :)

I don't think I've watched "In The Bedroom" more than twice, despite it being one of my favorites. It's too hard to watch honestly. But, I can probably recall almost all of it from my memory. It's managed to linger for a while. It may not hold the same cache as when I first watched it, because it is not aligned with my own trajectory as it once was. But I will never forget it,and maybe that is the best I can do.